Are you wanting to thrive, or just survive?

As a new mother, are you wanting to thrive, or just survive?

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Over the last week I’ve heard, across multiple forums, Women either saying that they will just ‘wait and see’ as to whether they need postpartum support, or saying that their partner isn’t on board with investing in postpartum support. Sadder still, I’ve seen many mothers in early postpartum reaching out on social media groups for words of wisdom because they are struggling postpartum and have NO POSTPARTUM SUPPORT in place, whether that be family, friends or paid support. My heart breaks when I read these womens words.


I’m blessed now to be living in a beautifully supportive community. Just this week a new birth was announced in our village and the first 3 weeks of meals was organised by neighbours within 12 hours of the call going out! It’s pretty special. And even with this support this new mamas postpartum is likely to challenge her to her core. I’m not saying this to create fear around Motherhood. I say this because I see Mothers struggling time and again, or I hear about it ONCE they have gone through the fog and have come out the other side a few years later. Motherhood challenges you, and the early days, especially, can be a huge shift. It’s not just the lack of sleep and being responsible for a tiny human for the first time, but when our baby is born, we ourselves are born as a new mother. A new version of ourselves arises…and finding our way in this new skin can take time. Not just weeks, but months, and often years. When we become a newborn mother we need and deserve the same care we ourselves provide to our new baby. So who is responsible for nurturing YOU? How would that look and feel?

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When planning postpartum, many women see their partner as the answer, but they going through their own rite of passage too - as a Father. They are just getting by and have no real idea about what is needed to nurture a new mother in this time. How could they? Our culture is , with respect, pretty terrible at nurturing new mothers. How often do visitors appear to “Meet the new baby” empty handed, or at best, with a gift for the baby. Generally, as a visitor, they are then ’hosted’ by the new mother. Sometimes the mother feels she needs to retreat in to a separate room to feed baby. It’s completely back to front. Visitors should be bringing food, offering to help around the house, waiting on the new mother. Making sure that the Mother and baby are comfortable, doing and being however they need. So it’s no wonder our partners have little idea about optimal postpartum care.  

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If you are preparing for postpartum, or newly postpartum (within the first 6-12 months) I invite you to ask yourself these question:

1. What would a thriving postpartum look like?

2. What would you need to put in place to make this a reality?

3. What is one small step you could take towards this?

These are the questions I love supporting Women to answer for themselves. These are the questions, if acted upon, can make the difference between surviving and THRIVING. Don’t we all want to thrive?

If these words call you, and you’d like to prepare to thrive during your postpartum period then please get in touch at anne@blissfulmothers.com.au or use the contact button below.

Why don't we talk about postpartum?

I was inspired to write this piece following my Mothers Circle on Sunday. We were sharing some of the challenges we had face over the previous week, which led to some reflections about motherhood generally and the importance of the postpartum period. I won’t share the specifics as that stays between those in the circle but, not for the first time, a light was shone on the fact that what we experienced in the postpartum period was a huge surprise, and that, in part, is because we just don’t talk about it.

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Soup glorious soup! A perfect postpartum meal.

Following a few discussions with new Mothers about meal planning, recipe ideas and batch cooking, I thought I’d share a couple of soup recipes, over the next few weeks. I make these soups most weeks during winter, usually for lunch. I say recipes, but I improvise a lot based on a some core ingredients. The recipes are very forgiving and adaptable so IDEAL for those times when you might have some random veggies in the fridge that need using up, or are short of time and energy and are struggling to pull a nutritious meal together. It’s totally normal to experience these moments with early postpartum, especially if you haven’t got others cooking for you…..and, who are we kidding, if you are anything like me, life pretty much looked like this beyond the first few months and well in to the first couple of years.

There are lots of delicious postpartum specific recipes available that have specific warming or grounding elements. The ones I’m sharing today are everyday recipes that my whole family eat, that I might just tweak a little here and there depending on how newly postpartum a Mother is.

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So, these are recipes you can make pretty easily, or better still, a partner, friend or family member could make for you if they come to visit. Better still, they could make it at their home and bring it with them when they visit so any mess is made in their kitchen and not yours!! The soups keep well in the fridge for a few days and also freeze well. The ideal for postpartum is that you eat freshly cooked, warming meals, but let’s be honest, some days you need the convenience of something made the day before or that you can grab out of the freezer. If so, just re-heat as much as you need on the stove.

The first recipe I’m going to share is good old Minestrone Soup. I use the recipe below as a base and some days I add other things depending on mood or what I have in the fridge.

Ingredients:

1 large onion

2-4 sticks of celery

3-5 carrots

1 leek

1/4 cabbage (I tend to use green/white cabbage or savoy)

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1-2 garlic cloves or granules are also fine

teaspoon of dried herbs (I tend to use mixed herbs but oregano or basil is great too)

2 ripe large tomatoes

Stock/broth of choice (I generally use chicken or beef as it’s collagen rich (great postpartum) but I have used vegetable in the past)

Salt and pepper to taste

Choice of oil/fat to sautee veggies (ghee, butter, olive oil or duck fat all work fine - ghee is my preference for postpartum )

A tablespoon of tomato puree/paste (optional)

A handful or two of macaroni pasta or rice (optional)

A few slices of bacon or pancetta (optional)

Method:

  1. Chop the veggies to a size of your liking. 

  2. Briefly fry the onion , and bacon if you're using it, then add the celery carrots and tomatoes, stir in the garlic and the seasoning then cover and cook gently for about 20 mins. 

  3. Pour in the stock to generously cover the veggies  and simmer gently, covered, for about an hour. Then stir in the leeks, cabbage, macaroni (if using) and tomato puree and cook, uncovered, until the veg and macaroni are cooked.

In terms of the timings, they are pretty loose. I sometimes add the leeks in earlier with the carrots etc and add the cabbage in when I add the stock then just leave it to cook, especially if I’m time poor. Whatever I do it usually ends up pretty yummy. My point is, it’s very forgiving and if you get called away to deal with nappies, feeds, big emotions, whatever the day brings it should be okay just simmering for a bit longer.

A traditional minestrone usually has macaroni pasta or rice so you can add a handful of this in if you like. I’m more about the veggies so generally don’t bother but it does bulk it up and the kids prefer it. You can add bacon if you like but totally not necessary. 

You can easily add more or different veggies. In the past I’ve added zucchini, butternut squash, sweetcorn, kale and even asparagus (though I add that at the end). It’s also not the end of the world if you don’t have one of the veggies listed. I quite often made it without the leek.

A batch like this makes about 2 litres (give or take) which easily provides 4 hearty portions and will store on the fridge for a few days and you could  just double it if you wanted plenty to freeze or you have more people to feed. 

A note on stock/broth - this is a great postpartum food. Nothing beats homemade broth (a great job to outsource to others if you have a newborn). Rich in collagen, great for healing postpartum. Homemade broth isn’t alway possible and I’d certainly prefer you were resting than trying to find time to make broth sooooooo, know that there are now quite a few decent brands of broth concentrate (not stock cubes) that you can have to hand in the fridge. They are great for using in soups, and I also often add a spoonful in to other dishes I make for taste and to boost the nutrient density of the meal. Some brands I’ve tried and tested and have the thumbs up from me are Gevity Bone Glue (odd name I know, but it’s basically broth concentrate), Broth O Life, Best of the Bone and Nutraorganics. I have no affiliation with any of these brands, there are others around I’m sure. I use the first 3 regularly and I trust the ingredients and how they are made. The key is to make sure they are made from quality ingredients, ones you would find in home cooked broth. Increasingly you can also find fresh stock in the fridge section of many health stores if that suited better.

"42 Days of Self Care" Challenge - Part 5

Gosh, 42 days can feel like a long time to commit to something focused on yourself!! In a world obsessed with immediate results, 24/7 availability, ticking boxes, people wanting everything done yesterday it’s easy to see why we women are in a rush to show we’ve got this motherhood thing down pat in the first few weeks, to demonstrate how ‘capable’ we are and that we are ‘bouncing back’ as well as the next person.

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"42 Days of Self Care" Challenge Part I

If you follow me on social media at all you may have noticed that I've taken on a 42 day self care challenge (thanks to Rebecca Home - Postnatal Doula), 42 days being the number of days often talked about in terms of the most crucial period in postpartum care. Obviously I’m a little beyond 42 days postpartum (roughly 1260 days beyond if we are counting) BUT self care shouldn’t be something we only focus on at specific times of our lives. Sure, there will be points in our lives that self care is going to be especially important, pre-conception, pregnancy, postpartum and menopause to name just a few) but for us to thrive as individuals, families and communities we need to move our care further to the forefront of our lives.

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Marking Mental Health Week and My Own 5 Non-Negotiables for Wellbeing

Generally, I hate to generalise, but in this instance I’m going to.  Pretty much whatever angle I look at it from, being a Mum is HARD! I hear from others that it’s hard, I read in blogs and social media that it’s hard and it’s my lived experience so far (nearly 6 years in and counting). But I’ll be honest, when I had my first I seriously wondered why everyone else was finding it all so easy. Turns out that they weren’t but who knew?!? Not me.

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That Light Bulb Moment

We all have our light bulb moments. Everyone’s moment will look very different but when it happens it's hard not to LISTEN.

I've had a few big light bulb moments since having children. The most significant being at around 8 weeks postpartum, when according to some, the postpartum period is ticked off, yep, that’s right, done and dusted! However I still felt like I was in the thick of it. I WAS in the thick of it.

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